Talking to your aging parents about their future housing situation can be one of the toughest conversations to have. While these discussions can be difficult, they’re necessary to ensure that your parents have a safe and comfortable living environment as they get older.

Whether you’re looking to learn more about your parents’ financial situation, want them to downsize to an apartment or condo, or you’re hoping to broach the subject of having them move into an assisted living facility, here are some important things to consider:

1. Mobility & Accessibility 

As your parents age, their mobility may decrease. Things like walking up to their front door, going upstairs, or getting in and out of the bathtub can become really hard and dangerous. Talk to your parents about the accessibility of their current home and whether modifications or upgrades are necessary to ensure their safety and comfort. 

Some updates you might want to discuss with them include installing support bars in the bathroom, adding a seat to the shower, adding a ramp to the front door, raising appliances off the floor, or considering a single-level apartment or condo.

2. Maintenance & Repairs

Tasks that used to be simple like taking out the trash, cleaning the gutters, or watering the lawn may be more challenging for aging parents. Talk to your parents about whether they’re having trouble doing any of these things. One solution is to hire someone that can help with these recurring chores to make sure they get completed. 

While having a pet can be wonderful for social support, they can be a lot of work as well. It’s important to check on your parents’ pets to see if they’re getting enough food, healthcare and exercise. If not, assistance can be brought in to help with these tasks too or the pet may need to be rehomed.

Keeping a home well-maintained is important for preventing large-scale issues and can improve resale value. Check with your parents that they’re keeping up with repairs and are still able to handle these tasks by themselves.

3. Finances

Owning a home is a large investment. If your parents are no longer making an income or aren’t making what they used to, it can be a big expense to keep up with potential mortgage payments and home repairs. 

Talk to your parents about their financial situation and whether they can afford to continue living in their current home or if downsizing may be financially beneficial. Remember to consider not only the costs associated with housing (mortgage, utilities, taxes, maintenance and repairs), but also their regular monthly expenses (groceries, health insurance, car payments/transportation and travel).

4. Community

Nearly one in four adults over age 65 are considered to be socially isolated according to a report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. Social isolation can be linked to numerous health problems, including increased risk of dementia, heart disease, stroke, depression, anxiety, and suicide.

If your aging parent lives alone, talk to them about their current social connections and existing support network. If they don’t currently have a thriving social life, help them find community groups, volunteer opportunities, or potentially a new living situation that will keep them connected with other seniors in their community.

5. Safety

As your parents age, they become more vulnerable and may be more likely to be targeted for break-ins or other crimes. Discuss current safety measures with your parents and consider taking additional steps to enhance their security. Simple things like adding more lighting around the property can make a huge difference. Or, you can take it a step further, and install a full security system for your peace of mind.

Conversation Tips

Finding ways to discuss these topics can be intimidating, so here are few tips to make the conversation a bit smoother:

• Make a List: In the heat of the moment, it can be easy to forget everything you wanted to discuss. By referring to your list, it will keep you on-topic and make sure you don’t forget any crucial details.

• Have the Conversation In-Person: It’s so hard to judge emotions over a phone call, and even a video chat can feel really impersonal. If possible, have the conversation in-person during a calm, relaxed time.

• When In Doubt, Ask Questions: Don’t make assumptions about your parents’ situation. Make sure you ask lots of open-ended questions that will allow your parents to express how they’re thinking and feeling.

• Listen & Practice Empathy: Getting older, not being able to do the things you used to do, and potentially have to relocate are terrifying situations. Your parents may be just as anxious as you are, if not more so, to discuss these topics. So make sure you practice really listening to their fears and feelings and put yourself in their shoes.

• Take It Slow: These decisions likely won’t be resolved in a single conversation. Some of what you’re discussing may be massive changes for your parents. Give them lots of time to absorb your suggestions, formulate their thoughts, and make a decision.

• Make a Plan to Speak Again: As long as the situation isn’t immediately urgent, plan to talk again in a few weeks. This will give you and your parents time to think rationally about the situation and make a more informed decision.

The Nadolny Network Can Help

One of our core services is helping families sell their current home and consider both short- and long-term options for the future. You can learn more about our Senior Relocation services here [link to Senior Services Page]. We invite you to book a free strategy consultation to explore how we can help you and your loved ones transition successfully.

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